DARLINGTON FC! THE WORST TEAM IN ENGLAND?

On Tuesday 3^rd January 2012 Raj Singh made a very sad, moving and honest statement about regrettably having to send Darlington FC into administration. Of course, there are the horror stories of the Leeds demise, Luton Town ending their 89 year stay in the Football League and of course Ipswich’s current form under Paul Jewel l, but surely none quite compare to the awful predicament Darlington have found themselves in over the last 10 years. Third time into administration over the last 9 years, currently under a transfer embargo that restricts them from improving their team and in possession of a 27’000 sweater stadium that they can’t even half fill. At the same time, they don’t have Alex McLeish managing them, swings and roundabouts I guess.

The punishment for the Quakers is a 10 point reduction, putting them in 16^th but the Football Conference have announced they will consider relegating them if they cannot pay their debts by the summer. It’s about time some harder action was taken against clubs who keep bailing themselves out by declaring bankruptcy, it’s not fair on creditors and I’m sure HM Revenue and Customs do not like it one bit. And in this case it all stems into from one stupid decision, to move into the new, massive, way too big stadium in 2003. Since then the declared £20 million debts have been holding back a club that has won a trophy at Wembley last year and have always battled at the top of the respected division.

This is just another example of a club not being able to look after itself in the modern competitive game, where money and wealth dominates success. But at the same time, you have to have a decent structure. There will be times when you cannot perhaps reach your potential, but it’s important to be patient. As an Aston Villa fan I know that more than most clubs at the moment, but despite frustration and boring football, wage structure has to come down from the Martin ‘money grows on trees’ O’Neil times. So if there are any football owners out there reading this, just remember the allegorical tale of Darlington Football Club.

Peace and love, the OFFSIDE TRAP

xx

Norwich's Season So Far

With the midway point of the season having just passed, it’s the perfect opportunity to have a little reflection on the season the best club in the world have had so far.

Having signed no fewer than 8 players over the summer period, (4 being from the Championship and the rest from the depths of the Premier League’s reserve team bargain buckets) it’s fair to say I started the season with a sense of impending doom. Despite our good pre-season form coming into the first game against Wigan, there was always a feeling of doubt in my mind over whether we were actually going to get anything. Wigan they may have been, but with a team that includes the likes of Simon `Spanish` Lappin and Aaron `Does-He-Even-Know-How-To-Kick-A-Ball?` Wilbraham there was a right for me to feel a niggle of doubt.

This feeling, however, was soon to be pushed to the side. A 1-1 draw against the side who are by far the luckiest and worst team in the division seemed to spur the mighty Canaries on and they just haven’t looked back from there. Of course there’s been the odd mishap here and there (a 5-1 drubbing by Man City comes to mind as well as a loss against West Brom) but largely we have looked a decent outfit. Alan Shearer may have described us as the team with the worst squad in the league but may I remind you Alan, if that even is your name, that your `all-conquering` Toon Army lost at the fortress that is Carrow Road. In truth, many teams have struggled to play away to the city, cumulatively taking only 12 points away from us since the beginning of the season.

As far as a highlight goes for the season so far it has to be said that there are few stand out matches to choose between. There have been no major upsets but the one thing to draw from 2011-12 is how we play. For once it can be said that in every game we do ourselves proud, battling for the full 90 minutes and maintaining the trait that every Norwich fan with a weak heart both loves and hates... the ability to score late-on. Only by the 13^th May will we be able to tell just how vital the points picked up in the last 10 minutes will be. Without them this year, Norwich would be sitting in 16^th; a whole world away from the dizzying heights of 9^th spot. Equally, conceding fewer of the late goals would not go amiss either - 6 points have already been dropped due to late defensive mishaps.

My hopes for the rest of the season? More of the same please, lads. May 2012 bring around more goals to fill Holty’s boots and further cement his place in every Englishman’s dream Euro 2012 team (yes, I know he’s on all of your minds), plenty of quality football, a new winger (and possibly a centre-mid; for never again do I want to see shitty Lappin don the green and yellow of us high-flying, world beating Canaries) and a place in the `best league in the world’ for 2012-13.

On a slightly less important note, if we are to play a weakened team for the FA cup on Saturday, let’s not get embarrassingly defeated like the last time please, lads. I am still trying to get over the horrific sight of (ex-Canary) Luke Chadwick’s possibly-smiling, possibly-gurning face after scoring 2 against us in the Carling Cup. Definitely one for the `League of Munters`.

Much love,

The Offside Trap

X x X

Jewell in the…. crown or gutter?

 

 Paul Jewell, he transformed Wigan from a lowly league 1 team to the premiership team they currently are, if you get a stand to yourself now, imagine the crowd when he took over! His managerial career peaked last year when he got the top job in English football, no not the City, United (or Villa) job but the Ipswich Town job, a team that hasn’t won 4 in a row for 3 years, but still Fortress Portman Road achieves attendances Wigan can only dream about of 15,000 and above. A team that call ourselves annually ‘play off’ hopefuls but haven’t finished higher than 8^th in 5 years, yes we bring in players that look like they might turn our fortunes around but when they step upon the hallowed turf of Portman Road they seem to lose all their ability. Anyway, rant about Ipswich over, back on to PJ, the man took over when the club was in disarray, Roy Keane had decimated the squad by selling reliable squad players and bringing in very few decent players including Colin Healy, the chant 'Who the hell are you?' comes to mind. So he had a certain degree of leeway with money to spend and fans that are just grateful of being out of the house still watching, yet he goes and signs Lee Bowyer, hardly a role model for the youngsters in our squad, a player that didn’t have much ability at his peak let alone now when he’s well past it. Since those long days of summer with only OAP’s  (Old awful players) being signed such as Ivar Ingimarsson and Ibrahima Sonko, Paul Jewell’s side has been spanked by the likes of Peterborough and Southampton, usually a manager would not enjoy it but after a sex tape in 2008 I think he likes being on the end of a spanking, I think a team of ‘Blonde Dykes with huge tits’ similar to the so called woman in the video who might resemble more Robbie Savage than Angie Savage (look her up) would probably finish higher in the table than Peterborough anyway, even though the lost Craig Mackail-smith, who could pass as a blonde dyke. It amazes me that he found someone willing to be videoed having sex with the slightly tubby scouser, and not found a striker that can bag more than 10 goals a season. 

Anyway all in all, Jewell needs to spend on a defender who doesn’t qualify for a free bus pass, a striker that gets goals and a creative midfielder, not asking for much PJ! 

Good luck with it and yes, we are still play off hopefuls, sitting in 20th. 

KEEP THE FAITH

Hope everyone had a good new year!

The offside trap.